Holding

by Hailaker

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Tiago
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Tiago I loved the whole album on my first listen. This is luminous, intense and poignant music. The blend of your voices, the lush and sparse instrumentation palette. Just beautiful. Thank you for this magical experience that I can't stop listening to, on walks by the beach. Favorite track: Oh, Boy.
Jake Friedrich
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Jake Friedrich Amazing sophomore album from this group. I'm so happy that the self-titled wasn't just a one-off project. Favorite track: Attica.
alpineravel
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alpineravel I found myself immediately enthralled with this set of songs, just as I was with all previously released. Something about them just strikes in a way that is so heavy and stirring and completely unique to Hailaker. Favorite track: Alumni.
JonathanPownall
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JonathanPownall Absolutely beautiful, eagerly awaiting the rest of the release. Pt.2 is fantastic, attica is a great track. The full album released this morning. All I can say is thankyou Hailaker. This album is truly a masterpiece, Lowswimmer is my new favourite track, takes me back to growing up. Favorite track: Lowswimmer.
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1.
03:56
Toasty, coasting in a rental…uh-huh. Mostly post-coincidental… I know! Roasting, 7th of December, I’m sure. Ghosting, I reckon I’d remember. Uh-huh. Smoking... no, it’s ornamental! I know... Soaking, meeting me at central... or not... I’m torn, you sure? Said you’re ‘only’ away for eight months... that’s all?! What for? that’s ages to wait for someone! Swollen, nosebleed in a tampon at your mum’s. If only I’d get on your level...uh huh. I’m bored, obscure, “you’ll totally make it alone”. but I’m sold for sure, it’s opaque in a way that I want. choking, hard to reassemble my life... I hadn’t noticed the way you tried, a little, not to notice the way I left you out.
2.
03:17
I don’t really wanna say, I don’t really wanna be well-defined, be there to find. (where’s this come from? Kinda up-front…) Heavy porcelain terrain, all the saccharin was bleeding the lines, I’ve eaten for nine. (being healthy, bolognaise-ing) Decided not to renovate, I think the ceiling is fine, the polar bear smiles when I’m down. (the mural’s peeling, there’s still graffiti around…) I’ve been out of your face some time, and I’ve been off of your case, so why? Yeah, it’s been wild… it’s been a whole thing. I’m done. I don’t really care today, I’ll watch the series when I’m sleeping tonight, the screen was the sky. (you can tell me, what’s the ending?) Every compliment was grey, I guess that eerie Japanese air was fine, my feet were on fire, (not a highlight, not a high-flier) and I’ve been trying to move away, but I could’ve beat up my spine for all you care. I’m going out. It’s been out of your face some time, and I’ve been off of your case, so why? Yeah, it’s been wild… Since you told me, it’s been a whole thing. I’m done.
3.
02:58
“No weather where you’re from, then?” It’s upsetting, given the context... oh, I’m not trained for this stasis, no I can’t pay my own wages. I’m not a fan of waiting, honestly, (I don’t wanna be needy) always late, not early, it sort of makes me nervous, honestly... but you’d probably wait for me. Subletting to your cousin, she keeps her kefir in the oven, oh, I can’t say that on Craigslist, no, I can’t waste another payslip, but honestly, the shipping forecast’s on - I tried to sleep, but I couldn’t get there. Insolvency, I’ve sent it all out, parts of me airmailed one by one.
4.
03:49
Why’d you have to go? Why couldn’t you stay? I won’t know how it was. What if we hadn’t spoke? Supposing now I won’t know how you cope... ...and I’m thinking of the times we had, and I’m drinking all the wine you left. My floor plan in the snow, my doorman in the rain, “oh boy, I think we’re lost”. It’s fine, you weren’t to know that I broke down when I found out you’d gone... ...and I’m thinking of the times we had, and I’m tripping over my shorthand. It was fiction the whole time, you said, but I’m just thinking of the times we had.
5.
04:10
It’s in Attica, it’s in Attica, waiting on us, it’s the capital, but if I could say the name I’d like to, I’d play it down. It’s inadequate, it’s per capita, check the numbers, it’s ephemera, but I wouldn’t trade away my nice one, I’ve laid it down. Hardly home, Canada was ours to roam, but I can’t be there. Sadly owned, a habitat, a homophone, but I can’t be there… Be there, be there in alcohol, I’ll be there… I can’t find a place, where’d you graduate? Wow…if it’s alright to stay? Your parents must be great, man… I’m on a lake in… I’m on a lake in…I don’t know where… I’m on a lake and I’m… I’m on a lake and I’m all… I’m on a lake and I’m all golden… floating away, I’m fine. Oh no she’s come to take away my attributes! Although I’m not an advocate for Hampshire roots, I’m so conformed that all I want’s a parachute, but no, it’s dumb, I’ll stay… It’s inanimate, where’s your stamina? Your diploma? Biscuits cavernous… and I was afraid to share my last one, it’s saved, it’s ours. Lived in loads of houses that were catacombs, but I can’t breathe there! I’ve got a craft to hone, and I just want a lawn to mow, but I can’t cheat it… Cheat it with alcohol, I’ll I can’t find a place, where’d you graduate? Wow…if it’s alright to stay? Your parents must be great, man… Where to gravitate… his parents must be paying now, I can’t compensate, inherit all her plates…wow…
6.
01:53
“Something courageous”, tin man aplasia, where am I from? Can I come home? The outside’s contagious, it’s all divination I’m sure, side-on I’m god. We’re talking in phases, I can tell by your face that I’m wrong. I’m gone. I don’t feel it at all, white dots through a telescope. Cheekbones, the relief in your clothes, my loss, grey and old.
7.
03:20
Honestly, hate it. It’s a special occasion and I couldn’t be there for you. The more that I say it, the less I explain it – I couldn’t see it through. Leaving Chicago, I could’ve died there too. My Colorado, where did the line draw you? I didn’t want it to. A body of navy, your odyssey’s waiting, just don’t expect me to choose... ...cus if I’d waited for a better occasion, then I could’ve seen it too. You were a star, but out there the light fooled you, I didn’t mind, but it split like a tide, in two, it might’ve been nice to live in the sky with you, but we are where we are, and it feels like it’s all too soon.
8.
I could barely stand to hold my head up, thinking I’d be better off the grid, cus I could only handle my own heaven, yours was on another plane to his. Cherubim and seraphim and lyres, old Berlin and synonyms for tired. Sinking in the car, I’d kick my floor in, given all the stars it might be bliss, the pulp from the memoir you left this morning framed me in an orange, golden tint, and if only I had bought the tape recorder, just to hear you say those words again, the way you just surrendered made it all the sweeter, I was yours, I melted then. You dropped it in and left it on the side, the bathing water’s half of chapter nine. Sistine blisters, I was cricking my neck out trying to see our drawings of choirs get born. Sixteen, shivers, I remember my legs shaking in my head while you were making your bed up next door. Caffeine rivers, your letters, they read themselves in my head, I left them all on your doorstep that fall. Fifty winters, my sweater was red, you were growing your hair out, said you were fed up with it short, but we’re on to something now. Bliss redelivered, I thought we had said not to pull at that thread when you kissed me my skin shed, I had figured instead we’d begin to accept that it wouldn’t get better anymore.
9.
04:50
...so why don’t you know me after all this time? ‘Cus I felt your stomach down my whole left side. It’s raining on the concrete, it’s hard to watch it all come down, Your sighs were in my orbit, can’t you get your own damn sky? so...I couldn’t cope with sleeping on your side, it set my serotonin into overdrive - I’d ask for my deposit, but I don’t wanna be that guy. Your words were parabolic, I guess that I’m your alumni. ...now I’m all of a flutter, just like you described. We’ll always have the summer when your home was mine, but this morning’s feeling warmer, and it’s safe to say that I’m excited. Sure, it all was torture, but I think I’m gonna be alright. For all its worth, I’ve earned a little time. No, don’t get up. I won’t be a while. Just so you know, you’re still a friend of mine. For what it’s worth, I won’t forget about you.
10.
03:32
‘Well I hope you made it your own, bro!’ Well I’m broke, I get paid in a month, so... I’m waiting, saving, caught me waved in your basement, pages and pages, I told you all it’s a phase, but ...and lo, it’s painful to watch, no? Yeah, I know, it’s lazy to be so abrasive. I made it, brushed my teeth in your basin! “It’s Danish” - amazing... “they even make it in paisley”. By the time I’m done you’ll have already made it, bad times, I guess that I wasted the moment... line for line, I wish I’d traced all your homework, cus by the time I’m done you’ll have already made it.
11.
02:47
Head out, pinned my despair to a ledger line, a printout, the blood moon had made it molasses, I measured my sleep, my foreward was shorter than yours, I could see. I had a nice dream, it was awkward for you, even harder for me, not to ‘be’. You swam out, the broccoli mountains had boiled now, I’d drown, I sat on the side and consoled myself, I let the light leave, I knew there were Labradors waiting for me. Where had I been? I’m calling my head to come back to my feet...
12.
03:49
If I could just spill my mind... with or without, I’m waving myself goodbye. You’re swimming round, you can’t get out, the sides have upped to London now, like everyone that you know, you’re treading on, the last to go... Stuck on the words “I need to sort my life out”, and I hate that I’ve tamed my kindness. How fickle the mind is, ooo I’m feeling lady-like. I’ve had enough of all the yups going on about their stuff, they’re all in love, at restaurants, aubergine and apricot… but sometimes I’m maybe afraid that there’s no feeling like it, afraid that there’s nothing else, and maybe I’m wrong after all… I’ll peddle on to forty-one, the Hambledon’s my Avalon, cardigans, the Guardian, I wasn’t born a partisan... The cousin in me of someone, the moment your mum was my mum. Lowswimmer, lowswimmer, lowswimmer, lowswimmer, you’re feeling those feelings, goddammit let me feel some more.

credits

released April 10, 2020

All songs written by Hailaker

© 2020 BDi Music Publishing
℗ 2020 Lowswimmer

Recorded, produced and mixed by Hailaker and Ali Lacey
Violin performed by David Grubb
Gang Vocals performed by:
Dennis Applebaum
Helen Dixon
Rowan Ferguson
Christie Gardner
All other instruments performed by Hailaker and Ali Lacey

Mastered by Dan Duszynski dandysounds.com
Artwork by Mike Roth.

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Hailaker UK

Seen by its current members as less of an artist or band than a fluid, open-ended project, Hailaker (hay-ull-ache-err)’s principal members and founders are Jemima Coulter and Ed Tullett, who work between Bristol and Cardiff. Portland, Oregon-based artist Mike Roth handles artwork, and Ali Lacey (Novo Amor), amongst others, also contribute. ... more

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